GONE HOME, STILL AFRAID

GOING HOME

I wanted to make a record dedicated to what it felt like coming home from college nearly every weekend to be with friends and my former lover. Toxicity in relationships and friendships arose, and in effect, helped make the somber sounding album I was working on for some months of being depressed from being at school with only wanting to return to the life I loved growing up, even if things between me and my surroundings were a bit more complicated now. Nearly the entire album was recorded outdoors in parks me and my friends would sneak into in the dead of night, while a few songs were recorded in my dorm room. I thought recording live on my old shitty tablet was so fun to me, as the built-in microphone captured this sound that reminds me of claustrophobia, as if so noisy and static-filled that it felt claustrophobic to me, even if the tracks were recorded in the open! This is a collection of music I will forever feel mixed feelings for. I wish that I could return to this and rerecord everything cause I know I could do so much more to the tracks, but for now, I’ve accepted that the rawness of the record is fun to listen to as a whole.